Venting out

The last post was rather written while I was in a fury.. One of those days when you are not feeling not so good about yourself, and you have your loved ones telling you to change this and change that. Now that I have cooled down, I feel I might have been a little harsh. 

Of course our loved ones would want us to be the best versions of ourselves. We disagree on so many things, and yet we find many more which brings us together as one. 

The one I probably have the most fights with is my mother. Most days I feel like we are not even in one book, forget the same page. We disagree on almost everything and fight like little children. But at the end of the day, all I want to do is hug her and protect her from all that she goes through in life. 

True I am wrong most of the times, I probably should make a little more effort to look less shabby. I am a grown up now and should act more my age. I should speak correctly so that I am better understood. I agree to all that. It's just that sometimes, I would prefer if my loved ones did not just spend their time correcting me and giving me long lectures.

Sometimes I would want to be just left by myself to do what I think is okay. 

I know deep inside they do all this because they love me and want me to fare well in life. They want me to achieve great things. But sometimes I cannot help but feel a little pressurized. As if I am being pushed in a direction I am not sure I want to go. I know they mean the best for me, but it's hard to remember this all the time, especially when I am not sure for myself what's good for me.

I know they correct me because they care but I am sensitive and easily hurt. I have learned over the years to protect myself from that, but sometimes it gets to my head. 

When all this accumulates on a bad day, I just want to scream out loud. 

But I am okay now. Some music and time with friends, and I am back on track.